My Confused Life

I remember when elementary school was just fun, and nobody worried about anything but being the first one in line or playing at recess. It wasn’t about having a boyfriend, fighting and choosing friends. In the fourth grade, when I switched schools and went to school in North Oakland, that’s when everything bad started happening. I was barely passing in school, and now that I think about it -- I was only in the fourth grade and all this started happening. The rest of my elementary was at that school and I had to pick the friends I hung out with: either the people that everybody wanted to hang with, or the girls who talk mess but don’t back it up. I had my first fight there because of something stupid.

When I went to the sixth grade everything was like a question mark. First, it was like I was the new one at the school so I had to try to fit in, and then all of a sudden my body started changing. I felt like everything in the world had to revolve around me. I would get all emotional when things wouldn’t go my way. Then my body wasn’t as developed as the other girls, so it was hard trying to have a boyfriend and I used to get teased about it. That’s when I started learning about sex and being pressured to do it.

Now I’m in the ninth grade and I feel like every year school is getting harder. Now, everything depends on the people you hang out with. If you hang with the people who do sexual things than everyone thinks you do too, and if you hang with people that talk behind other peoples back than you do, too. Now that I’m in high school I really have to start getting good grades and stuff, if I want to go to college. I don’t live in Oakland anymore, but I still go to school out here. So when my friends tell me to come to some party or another, my mom doesn’t let me because she says people get shot, jumped and drunk. Sometimes I get mad and take it out on teachers at my school. Then I come home and get yelled at again.

Last of all, BOYS. It's still kind of hard for me to get a boyfriend because my body is still not as developed as other girls at my school. Even when I do have a boyfriend, all they care about is sex, but luckily I’m still a virgin. Now, I have a boyfriend that’s not ready for sex just like me, and I guess we have a good relationship.

-Latajh Weaver