"Crushin on the wrong one"

I first started getting into boys when I was in the sixth grade. I had the biggest crush on a eigth grader named Walter Bell, he was popular, he played basketball and he had a grill( TOP AND BOTTOMS). He was sooooo fine back then I did'nt know what to do with myself. He had a carmel complextion, light brown eyes and brown dreads with gold tips. I crushed on him for my whole sixth grade year and was teased royally for it. Girls wanted to fight me and i did'tn have any real friends. I never understood why things had to happen like that but i am glad that i learned a lesson... Never fall for a dread head with a grill from west oakland.Another thing i thought i knew about relationships before i got into one was that loosing your viriginity hurts super bad - this was not true for me it wasn't that bad.
Back when i was younger i used to fantisize alot and i did'nt know what relationships was about. Now i know that their is much more to relationships than just having fun and having boyfriends. Relationships are about being committied to your significan other and loving that person and having their back forever for that moment in time.



Misunderstood, 17

Love is an eye's mystery

I first started thinking about relationships when I was in the 3rd grade and this boy named Patrick who was cute with gray eyes went to my school.Hahahaha! A myth I heard about relationship is that in a relationship the boy always love the girl,I quickly found this myth to be untrue when I heard a boy said he went out with a girl quote in quote "because she had a big booty". I view relationships now as a stepping stones to bettering or learning about yourself . Almost like your in a relationship to learn life lessons. I believe my views differ from popular cultures belief just in the since that they believe all women are goldigging,you got to be paid,take care of my kids type people but, my belief is the guy has to have a nice personality,manners,and just a gentleman all around.
-Akilah Watkins 15

"The Kiss of Death/Kiss or Die"

I started thinking about relationships around the age of eleven.I think I was in the sixth grade.But when I seen "the boy of my dreams",I was in the second grade.Two myths about relationships that I believed BEFORE being in a relationship was if I kiss a boy I'll get pregnant and if I look a boy in their eyes,I will die.I found out those myths were false when i looked in a boy's eyes and found out I was still alive.Also,I've kissed a boy before and I'm not pregnant.Now I view relationships different.I view them as a rocky subject.It seems as the girl or woman is always the "Damsel In Distress".Like they need a man to boost up their self-esteem.Self-esteem relies in thy self.No one can ever bring your self-esteem or self-confidence down.
-Breanna Coleman 16

love is a gamble

i started thinking about relationships when i was 14 years old and thats also when i started dating and and the relationship that i was in at that age lasted for 2years but during the two years i was with him i didnt call us a relationship because i really didnt know what it was and what part do i play in it and what part do he play. but befor i got into the relationship i thought the guy was suppose to spoil me and buy me whatever i want and need will thats what my sister told me but what she did say was that sooner or later he would want something in return maybe because i was to young or whatever the case was but she didnt.but when i found out the spoiling was a lie is when i got into a relationship when i was 14 he was sweet in the beining but after a while he started to change and want more from me that i wasnt reaby to give him so that two year relationship was more like a off and on two year relationship i use to think when we would break up he would go to the next gurl and get it from her then come back to me when he wants to be loved because he knew i erally loved him. So now that i've experienced different things in a few of my relationships over the past few years i really have a hard time trusting men. Relationships make you stronger,happy and some times sad. When i think about it - i dont really want to get married i just can't see myself waking up to the same man for the rest of my life. Most girls nowadays say that they don't want to get married but if they find that right guy they will probably change thier mind.

Momo - 17

Girl's Respond to the Hudson Family Tradgedy

Learn From My Mistakes

Hello everyone that’s reading this right now, my name is Lady E and today I'm giving you a real life example of a bad relationship and some advise on how to avoid it.

In 2006, I was going with somebody much older than me, but didn’t quite know the real him. At first he came off so sweet like a gentleman: taking me out, buying me nice things and treating me like a young lady. But after most of the acting was over, he asked me to be down with him - be his girlfriend - and like many young and naïve ladies, I said yeah. So now, the whole act is all the way over, the real him comes out.

Now, I'm bitch this, hoe that and I'm sick of it, but because I'm “DOWN” for him, I stay in the relationship. But he started to put his hands on me, so now I'm ready to go. I told him that I didn’t want to be down no more, so he said I would have to fight him and if I won, I'm out freely. So I said okay, we fought and we was going back in forth and I finally won, and because of the age difference he was sent to jail for 53 years with no parole. He broke my jaw in the process.

Young ladies make sure you be smart about who you chose to go with.

For one: If you're 15, don’t go out with no one that’s 20.

Two: Don’t believe anything they say until they prove it.

Three: Give it at least 4 to 5 months before you start catching feelings for them.

Four: ASK THEM ABOUT THEIR HISTORY.

BE ENCOURAGED AND LEARN FROM READING MY MISTAKES, ENJOY LIFE AND LIFE WILL ENJOY YOU.

- Lady E

What I Would Say

If i was trying to talk to one of my friends about their boyfriend, I would sit her down to the side and give her reasons why she shouldn't be with that person. You should tell her stuff like: I'm only telling you this because I care about you," because she is probably going to think that her relationship is all good and that everybody is trying to break them up or everybody is hating on their relationship. You shouldn't try to talk or yell in front of everybody because they might feel like your trying to embarrass them in front of everyone.

-La Tajh

Making the Negative into Positive

I guess it's all in the approach. To me, it's not like you want to offend the person or let them take it the wrong way by saying "I don't like your boyfriend/girlfriend." You should approach them and tell them this is how I feel about your relationship and this is why. Otherwise, you're making them uncomfortable and pushing them away. The key to giving good advice to a bad relationship is applying it to yourself. Don't think that your way is always best, because for some people it's not. Just be mindful of all emotions and situations.

-Akilah Watkins

A Message From the Heart

I am writing to reassure you that if you are in abusive relationship, or you know someone that is in one that: You should speak up.

I was in a abusive relation when I was 14 years old, and it never was physical until one day when we were arguing about a pair or shoes. And it escalated to him putting his hands on me for the first time. My whole life flashed before my eyes, it was not a good feeling. At that point, I realized what everyone was saying to me was true.

But the way they approached me wasn’t cool. I got approached from almost everybody in my family: my mom and my aunties my brothers. Everybody tried yelling and cussing screaming at me. My friend lectured me about it like every day and it got really annoying to the point that I just started to shut down because I felt like they were talking to me just to hear themselves talk. But what got me to start thinking was my oldest brother. He asked me: 'Was I happy with hurting the people around me because of what I was doing?' He told me I was playing with fire and the dude wasn’t good for me. The only reason why I choose to listen to him was because he was coming from a place of love and he was very genuine in what he was saying to me.

That’s why when my ex-boyfriend and I had that last and final argument, it was easy for me to let go. So if nobody that's telling you is coming from a place of love, I am -- because I know how you feel.

When that person and I broke up, my self-esteem was completely gone. I had to start from the ground up. We were together for about a year and six months.

It is so important for the young ladies that are in abusive relationship to hear this: it's not healthy at all and it can damage you in the long run. So if you know somebody or if you are that somebody, get out of that situation. Trust me, there is somebody out there waiting for you, you don’t have to be treated this way.


- Jazmin, 17

No Matter What the Outcome Is, Say Something

If you know someone that’s in a relationship that you don’t aprove of, then it's hard to tell that person to get out of it because you don’t know what their reaction gonna be, because if you really care about that person - you don’t want to loose that friendship but sometimes you have to do it because letting a guy disrespect you and talk to you like you're nothing is not okay. My sister was in a relationship where he was hitting her and calling her out of her name and before she even got into a relationship with him, I knew about him and I tried to tell her but she didn’t want to hear me at all. Me and my sis was so tight but I guess she loved him more then she loved me, now we don’t even talk no more. What I'm saying is no matter what the outcome may be: if its one of your friends and it's happening, you have to say something.

-Momo,17